The past few months have been a bit hectic to say the least and I haven’t felt like blogging what was going on. But today I finally got back to my blog and caught up on some blogs that I follow; I also realized how long its been since I last checked in!
So my DH and I have started the IUI process. For cycle #1, I was on 100mg Clomid for days 3-7. I went in for bloodwork and U/S, got the ok and was given my first IUI date. I was given the Novarel shot, administered by DH the night before the scheduled IUI. And I would like to point out the DH is a physician who gives shots all day, and having him give me my shots has been the worst part of the infertility process:) I set it up for him, alcohol swab my back area (near my love handle area) and all he has to do is STICK ME. But oy ve, the first time he hit a vein so blood started splurging down my back. And the whole night after the shot, he kept double guessing whether or not the HCG shot had ‘gotten in’ (it did). But not the stress I needed the night before the IUI. Anyhow, I digress..so went in for my IUI, and it was not fun. I think I was a little nervous but the first nurse couldn’t get the catheter up my cervix so she had to go get another nurse. So was definitely harder than it had to be, but got done. At 7dpiui, went in for Progesterone check and it was low (I am always in the single digits). Started taking Estres suppositories (fun) to bump it up. At 14 dpiui went in for my beta test and found out I was pregnant! I was shocked since I didn’t expect it to work the first time. We were smart and did not tell anyone, because I went in a few more times and my HCG, instead of doubling, decreased. So I had what is called a chemical pregnancy, and fell into a funk. I took a month/cycle off with no treatment since it was kind of hard for me and DH to deal with. I didn’t feel like talking or blogging about it but now I am doing ok. I think there are pros and cons with keeping things private (between DH and I ),when bad things like this happen its almost like I have nowhere to go or no one to talk to. I don’t want to talk to people who have no clue what its like to think you are pregnant and then find out you no longer are after being married for 5 yrs and TTC for over 2 yrs. (sigh)
Now we are in the 2 ww for IUI #2. I am just trying to find some IUI buddies to talk with/share my experiences with. This cycle my RE suggested we do Clomid (50 mg since Clomid tends to thin your uterine lining), Follistm shots, and Novarel trigger shot. Follistm shots were not bad at all-but we only did 150. The trigger shot by my lovely DH was horrible-again. He decided to give it to me in a non-fatty area (why I have no clue) so it hurt and burned the whole time. I started crying but I think it was because I was achy and stressed.
So I went in for the 7dpiui progesterone check and it was 32!!! I have no idea what that means since the nurse left the message on my vm (was at work) but that is crazy high for me. Like I usually have 7 or 9 always. So fingers crossed the stars will align this time; I am praying so hard. Two more days still until my beta test..wish me luck.
So. Last time I blogged, I was about to go in for my transvaginal ultrasound while on my period. I went in and had it done; wasn’t horrible at all. Luckily my worst days are Day 1 and 2 of my period, so by Day 3 (when I scheduled it), it wasn’t that painful/crampy. I also had ALOT of blood drawn–for genetic testing and other labs–that same day though.
The nurse called me later that day to ask me to return while still on my cycle for a saline sonogram. I asked her if it was necessary since I just had a HSG done a month or so ago. She told me the saline sonogram shows the uterine lining which isn’t that clear on an HSG. The doctor thought he saw a uterine polyp in my ultrasound and wanted to make sure my uterus lining was good. So I was a bit worried, but again, this was not bad at all. So far, only the HSG was not fun for me. Saline sonogram went well, everything checked out ok. No polyps etc so yay!!
My next step is to go in for another lab draw on day 22 on my cycle to check hormone levels. I think after that, its time for my husband and I to sit down with the doctor for a talk about what our next step is at this point. All the tests and labs will have been done and results checked by him. It’ll definitely be nice to be done with all the probing and poking, and finally have an idea of where we are going to go from here.
Tee hee hee; just a little humor for the holidays:)
After playing phone tag with my ob-gyn, we finally touched base to discuss all the test results. My husband’s second semen analysis pretty much matched the first; poor mobility and poor morphology. So my doctor referred me to a fertility doctor who has had a lot of success getting staff at my Ob-Gyn’s office pregnant. I really like my ob-gyn; I cannot explain it since Ive only met with her a handful of times in the past few months. She is an older woman and is quite to the point (without babying me). But I trust her judgement; so I went ahead and called the fertility clinic and, lo and behold, got an appointment this morning due to a cancellation.
The fertility specialist was male (which I didn’t really want) but I do like him. He is very hands on and sat down and explained everything to my husband and I. He went over the semen analysis results with us and told us my husband’s numbers were not bad. He said he was happy that the count was so high, which reassured us both a bit, since we just felt horrible after receiving both analysis results.
So the next step is a bunch of tests..blah. I get frustrated and I think it depresses me sometimes. i think it is because this whole year has been a series of numerous tests for me..literally. I started with ob-gyn #1 (male) and didn’t feel happy/satisfied with the dr-pt relationship we had, met my current ob-gyn #2 (female) and underwent blood tests, HSG, two semen analyses only to be referred to yet another doctor (fertility specialist) and now I have to start from square one again. I understand this all takes time; I don’t expect to snap my fingers and have a baby. But I think this past year has been such an emotional toll for me..its just been hard. I can’t verbalize what I am feeling properly but I feel like every time I go into the doctor’s office, I feel my eyes welling up uncontrollably.
So now the plan is next month when I start my period, I call the fertility clinic. We do some blood work (genetic testing etc) and a transvaginal ultrasound–that’s right while Im on my period. Awesome. Can’t wait. I barely could get through the HSG; I sometimes wonder if I have to do an IUI–what the heck would I do? I know for a fact I would not be able to sit through the procedure. I have always had trouble even with pap smears (I really think its psychological) but its so quick I just somehow get through it…
I hope everyone out there had a great Thanksgiving this past weekend. My last post was written the day before T-day and I was quite upset at that time. But the day after Thanksgiving, my sister ended up in the ER after having a seizure while we were all out celebrating her belated birthday and it was the scariest thing I have ever lived through. Thank god she is okay, and I found myself so stressed and anxious about taking care of her, that I now read my last post and cannot imagine how that seemed like the most horrible thing in the world to me at that time.
I do want to thank everyone who has commented on my blog. I do read all the comments and you would not believe how nice it feels to hear about anyone who has gone through this or has any encouraging words for me. It really helps me and I feel less lonely. I did end up telling my husband about the analysis and he reacted just the way I thought he would. But I decided against holding the information from him; I just felt that wasn’t my place to do that. I think he feels like he has failed in a way; like the one thing he is supposed to do, he cannot. It is difficult to make him feel better, but like I said, we both had a rough weekend and it sort of forced us to stop feeling sorry for ourselves.
My husband is actually going in for his second semen analysis tomorrow morning. I made the appointment at another lab and this time, we are going in person. The first time I used another lab and decided on that lab since they were open very early and I could drop off my husband’s sample myself. It had to be done within the hour but I am kinda hoping maybe that might have been the reason the sample analysis came out bad? So just to dot all i’s and cross all my t’s, I picked another lab and we are both going in–in person this time. Hope one way or the other, we definitively know what our next step will be in a few days. If the results are the same, we go to an infertility specialist and an urologist. Does anyone know why we have to go to the urologist? I understand they need to check my husband out; but Im hoping we don’t have to do any surgery, or numerous tests etc. on him.
Today Im feeling a bit blue. Its the day before Thanksgiving and I was all excited because my family does a huge party every year and Im starting to prepare dishes for tomorrow’s big feast. I wanted to tie up some loose ends so I made a few calls to my doctor for rx refills etc and thought to inquire about my recent lab results since nobody had called me from the office. The nurse I spoke to was very nice and went through my chart. My HSG came out fine, nothing abnormal which was good. But my husband’s semen analysis results were not as good. (I need to take a breath here. Because I keep crying when I think about it–and Im really not a crier.) So the nurse explained to me that when they do a semen analysis, they check the count, motility, and the form. For count, we are good. What they consider normal is over 20 million; we have over 30 million. For motility, normal is anything over 40%; we have 48%. For form, they want to see at least 40% of the sperm have a normal form (head/tail etc), our analysis shows we only have 25% normal form. When she told me this, I felt my heart drop to my stomach. After I got over my initial shock at the results, I got my voice back to ask what does that mean “form”? She said if by chance, we did get pregnant, it would be fine. Because sperm with abnormal form (not a normal head and tail to help swim up to reach the egg) would never get up there to fertilize any egg. But she recommended us doing another sperm analysis to double check again. She said they would put me one more time on Clomid (this is going to be only my second cycle) but that if the new semen analysis came back same (abnormal form), that they would need to refer us to an infertility specialist. We would most likely have to go see a urologist and end up doing an IUI.
Again I know this is not the end of the world. I am not trying to over dramatize this, but I think I just had my heart set on getting pregnant the “normal” way–no medical intervention, no drugs etc. I had it in my head that I would miss my period one day and take a pregnancy test and see how I would tell my husband when he came home from work that day.
A part of me is worried also with having to tell my husband the results. I know his personality, and I do not want him to think this is on him. That he is the sole reason we are unable to get pregnant. He can be very hard on himself and I worry about what the effect of this would have on him. I think I will wait till after Thanksgiving to tell him. I know it will bother him and I just dread having to tell him anything. I feel like I should just tell him we had a botched sample and need another one done and wait for the results of that analysis. The nurse did say sometimes when they have husbands re-test their semen, the second time everything is normal. It could just be a bad batch.
Lot of thinking to do today. I just need to remember and be grateful this week that I have such a wonderful husband and marriage. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there.
So I took Clomid a week or so ago. This is my first cycle on Clomid; I think the doctor told me she put me on the lowest dosage of it and is only going to try it for 3 cycles on me. Hopefully hopefully it works. I realize this is wishful thinking but I think by being positive, things will just find a way to work out for me.
Surprisingly, my IBS has not been triggered or affected by the medication. This is very odd for me since any medication I take (any antibiotic etc) makes my stomach bad since its so gosh darn sensitive. Which is why I try to avoid meds at all costs if possible.
So yesterday, I peed on the stick and my OPK was positive. I use this iPhone App called PeriodPlus and it predicted I would ovulate on a day after–so pretty close prediction. Yesterday, I went to work and felt real nauseated. I assumed this is was side effect of the med but not sure, since its my first month on it. About halfway through the day, I started to get this sharp pain in what I could imagine was my left ovary. It was a sharp stabbing pain that would not go away. I continued to do my normal things throughout the day, even went to dinner with my folks and sister in the evening. I got home after and had to put a heating pad on my lower abdomen, that is how sore it felt. I googled Clomid pain, and lo and behold, it seems a lot of women experienced the same ovary pain the day preceding ovulation. Makes it a bit difficult to ‘baby dance’ with that type of pain–in fact, its the last thing I want to do.
I woke up this morning, and again tested. The OPK was positive today also (which is bizarre since I only get a positive OPK for one day typically). But the pain is gone. Im thinking the ovary released an egg and maybe that is why it now doesn’t hurt…
Sorry I’ve been MIA; I’ve totally neglected this blog. But I’m back!!
So quick update: still trying, not pregnant. Finally decided to go see a new OB-GYN and I like her a lot (so far). She basically gave me the rundown and told me we gotta do three things: 1)Semen analysis of my husband (he is going to LOVE this), 2)HSG exam to check my ‘internal plumbing’, and 3)blood work to check hormone levels etc. So I’ve been running around all week trying to finish all this. And she started me on Clomid.
So today was the HSG. I made the mistake of googling and you tubing HSG (do NOT do this the day before you have your appmt like I did). I totally psyched myself out because everyone was complaining how much it hurt and oh my god Im glad I don’t have to do that again. So I popped three Aleve an hr before and mentally prepared myself for it. I kept telling myself it cannot be worse than labor,you can do this, you have to.. The nurse and OB Gyn (a different one who was scheduled at the hospital that day-also very nice) both knew how nervous I was. So I was lying there, just like you would do for your annual pap smear. She inserted the speculum in, cleaned out the cervix a few times, then inserted a catheter in. This all felt uncomfortable and maybe pinched a bit at times. Then they started to push the dye/contrast in the catheter–this part felt so strange to me. This is where I began to get a bit anxious since I started feeling a little pain and a ‘full’ feeling. I was trying to psychologically calm myself down but my mind got the better of me! The radiologist quickly took 3-4 shots of my abdomen area and the OB Gyn slowly started to pull everything out. All in all, it lasted about 15 minutes. The doctor then came up to me and was like “how are you doing?”And I have no clue why, but I burst into tears!! I could not stop it, and felt like such a dork. She asked me “are those tears of joy or pain?” and I told her “just nervousness”. I think it was just all that anxiety coming out..I have no idea what happened to me. Maybe its the Clomid?